Episode 43

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Published on:

13th Sep 2021

First Date Tips, Single Girl Bucket List, and Exploring Sobriety | E43 Cara Hays

After college, Cara Hays found herself battling with two identities. Her future self that prioritized her values and her past self that continued to distract with bad habits.

One day Cara decided it was time to look forward without looking back and she made a commitment with herself to accelerate that decision.

For the next 6 months, Cara decided to say no to drinking and dating. Two areas where she knew a hard stop would give her clarity. On top of that, each month she’d focus on another area of her life that needed attention.

At the time, this commitment didn’t have a name but it became known as 6 Months of Me and this time period fundamentally changed the perception Cara had of herself.

In this episode, we get into a lot of fun details like why Cara started a single girl bucket list, first date tips that I think are genius, and Cara’s exploration on being “sober curious.”

 

Key Takeaways:

[2:38] Cara’s relationship with her younger self

[12:30] How Cara’s first 6 Months of Me lead to self-love

[16:22] Single girl bucket list

[21:33] How to stay motivated while dating

[23:53] First Date Tips & Parameters

[29:32] Dating Apps

[34:37] How to know when it is the right time to start dating again

[39:01] Cara’s decision to go from “the shot girl” to sober curious

 

Favorite Quotes:

[22:53] “I definitely got down on myself but I was so proud that I wasn’t falling back into a relationship that wasn’t right for me.”

[0:00] “I believe you have to learn how to love yourself and be alone before you can ask someone to love you.”

[47:54] “There were times I went to parties and I didn’t know what to do because I was sober.”

[55:15] “You either find love or you find a lesson.”

 

More of Cara:

www.carahays.com

Instagram: @carahays

 

More of TSIR:

Find show notes and more at https://www.tsirpodcast.com/

Follow us on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/tsirpod/

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FI Minded: Achieve Financial Independence & Have Fun Doing It
Achieve Financial Independence & Have Fun Doing It
Want to achieve financial independence without missing out on the fun?

FI Minded is for anyone who wants to achieve financial freedom, live life on their own terms, and, most importantly, enjoy the journey along the way!

Whether you’re just starting to think about financial independence or already deep into the process, FI Minded gives you the tools and inspiration to make FI a reality - without giving up the things you love.

Each episode, we’ll cover topics like:
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*Lifestyle Design: How to build a life that aligns with your values, goals, and dreams.
*Stories from the FI Community: Real people sharing their journeys to FI and what they’ve learned.
*Fun with FI: How to save your future and enjoy your current life through CoastFI, mini-retirements, travel, or just making the most of your time.
*Fighting Burnout: Balancing saving for your future while staying mentally healthy.

Some of our past guests include:
Carl Jensen (1500 Days), Jeremy Schneider (Personal Finance Club), Nick Loper (Side Hustle Show), Andrew Giancola (The Personal Finance Podcast), Jordan Grumet (Earn & Invest), Jill Sirianni (Frugal Friends), Jacking Cummings-Koski (Catching Up to FI), Jesse Cramer (Personal Finance for Long-Term Investors), Diania Merriam (Optimal Finance Daily), Rachael Camp (Work Optional), Jillian Johnsrud (Retire Often), Sean Mullaney (FI Tax Guy), Joel Larsgaard (How to Money), Erin Lowry (Broke Millennial).
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