Episode 147

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Published on:

14th Aug 2024

How to Fight About Money Without Ruining a Relationship | E147 Allie Volpe

There are going to be differences. And these differences are what lead to disagreements.

Imagine a scenario where you and your friends are booking an Airbnb for an upcoming trip. The group isn’t progressing, and you can tell by the tone people are getting frustrated. Half of the group wants a cheap option while the other half wants a nice place closer to the city center.

This kind of situation happens all of the time and if you zoom out, you can probably understand both perspectives. Someone might be trying to pay off their credit card debt, or student loans, or saving for an upcoming wedding but wants to go on the trip if it can fit within their budget. Another person might be buried in work and this is one of the few weeks they have gotten to take off and enjoy. Spending an extra couple of hundred dollars is worth it to them if it means the weekend turns from a good time to an unforgettable trip with their friends.

At the end of the day, both people want to spend time with their friends but there is conflict because they have other goals that need to fit into their plans. This is messy.

Layer on the fact that people make different amounts of money and that our upbringing makes us value money differently, you can see why these aren’t always straightforward decisions.

It’s not just friends either. These kinds of situations happen with our partners, family members, roommates, and more.

So how do we discuss money with these important people in our lives? And how do we stand up for ourselves whenever we are being asked to do something we don’t want to do?

Well, that’s why I interviewed Allie Volpe today. Allie is a senior reporter for Vox and recently covered a story on how to fight without ruining a relationship. The headline immediately caught my attention as I think this topic isn’t discussed enough in personal finance.

If you’re pursuing financial independence, you are probably aggressively saving or at least very aware of how you’re spending your money. There will be moments when you’ll have to make a decision and have an awkward conversation about money with someone close to you. Allie is going to be sharing language you can use during these situations, mistakes to avoid, and what to do whenever you just can’t see eye to eye.

Key Takeaways:

  • The difference between a good fight and a bad fight
  • Mistakes people make in an argument that leave the other side feeling terrible
  • Questions to ask to get to the root of what you’re really arguing about
  • How to listen and make someone feel heard
  • How to get to a compromise
  • Ways to handle your emotions whenever you’re getting upset
  • What to do if you can’t see eye to eye


More of Allie:

Twitter: https://twitter.com/allieevolpe


More of The Struggle is Real:

Find show notes and more at https://www.tsirpodcast.com/

Connect with Justin on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/justinleepeters/

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About the Podcast

FI Minded: Achieve Financial Independence & Have Fun Doing It
Achieve Financial Independence & Have Fun Doing It
Want to achieve financial independence without missing out on the fun?

FI Minded is for anyone who wants to achieve financial freedom, live life on their own terms, and, most importantly, enjoy the journey along the way!

Whether you’re just starting to think about financial independence or already deep into the process, FI Minded gives you the tools and inspiration to make FI a reality - without giving up the things you love.

Each episode, we’ll cover topics like:
*Financial Independence Strategies: Simple, actionable advice to reach FI faster (if that’s your goal).
*Work Optionality: Transitioning from the corporate grind (no more "one more year syndrome") to a life of freedom and flexibility.
*Lifestyle Design: How to build a life that aligns with your values, goals, and dreams.
*Stories from the FI Community: Real people sharing their journeys to FI and what they’ve learned.
*Fun with FI: How to save your future and enjoy your current life through CoastFI, mini-retirements, travel, or just making the most of your time.
*Fighting Burnout: Balancing saving for your future while staying mentally healthy.

Some of our past guests include:
Carl Jensen (1500 Days), Jeremy Schneider (Personal Finance Club), Nick Loper (Side Hustle Show), Andrew Giancola (The Personal Finance Podcast), Jordan Grumet (Earn & Invest), Jill Sirianni (Frugal Friends), Jacking Cummings-Koski (Catching Up to FI), Jesse Cramer (Personal Finance for Long-Term Investors), Diania Merriam (Optimal Finance Daily), Rachael Camp (Work Optional), Jillian Johnsrud (Retire Often), Sean Mullaney (FI Tax Guy), Joel Larsgaard (How to Money), Erin Lowry (Broke Millennial).
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